The Sacred Whole

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By Laura Johnson 

 

Poem recorded by author

I wanted the lesson
………………….without the work
…………….the product
………………….without the process
…………….the coming-together
………………….without the falling-apart
……………..the transformation
………………….without the mess.

I wanted love
………………….without the grief
……………wonder
………………….without the fear
……………growth
………………….without discomfort
……………joy
………………….without surrender.

I wanted healing
………………….without hurt
…………….beauty
………………….without decay
…………….expansion
………………….without contraction
…………….heart-opening
………………….without heart-break.

I wanted wholeness
………………….even as I fragmented
…………….flow
………………….even as I blocked
…………….presence
………………….even as I distracted
…………….rest
………………….even as I pushed too far.

I wanted understanding
………………….as I projected
……………wildness
………………….as I perfected
……………forgiveness
………………….as I held a grudge
……………acceptance
………………….as I judged.

I wanted.

I wanted.

I wanted;
……….and then

I came undone

……….and there amongst
………………………..the pieces

I found the sacred
………………………..whole.


 

Laura Johnson, PhD, is a critical cultural geographer, lecturer at Humboldt State University, trauma-conscious yoga teacher, freelance writer, novice permaculturist, community restworker, and student of the Work that Reconnects. She has published essays and poetry in Tikkun, Lion’s Roar, Resilience.org, Science and Nonduality (SAND), and Taproot Magazine, among others. Laura lives on Wiyot land in Eureka, CA, with her husband, daughter, dogs, cat, chickens, and many plants. Connect at www.laurabjohnson.com or www.arestfulspace.com.

 

Biography recorded by Rebecca Selove

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